The Prodigal daughter and her final return home.

So the day has finally come. I've made a final commitment and that is to God. I haven't been blogging much but with these recent events and how much change has occurred in my life just a little over a month, I believe blogging has become more of a necessity. So just last month, I did something that Im not proud of. I was involved in what I must admit was the worse sin anyone could commit. Sin against the temple of God. I abused my body in the most horrible way. Shortly after that incident, I felt very sick. I just believed this was to be a short term hangover of whatever I did but to my surprise it lasted way longer than I had anticipated. Unfortunately or fortunately (you will see as you read on) it greatly affected my life as I had to quit my job of almost 2 years and stay home. I waited day in and out to get better but nothing really happened as the symptoms which i now know to be anxiety attacks wouldn't really go. I felt almost trapped in my body. I was so desperate in need of help and so I googled and searched for ways to relief the pain i was feeling on a 24/7 basis. It finally dawned on me that I had really fallen. Since I moved here from Nashville, my walk with the Lord hasn't been great. Almost non existent. I almost denounced my salvation by living a very un Christlike lifestyle. I backslid big time and that had really made me just more sullen and unhappy. But of course I bought things and did stuff to cover up. This incident really got me going back to my Heavenly father. It was very scary at first as my thoughts were "omg my whole life has been ruined by one single bad decision i made that night" to "how am I going to explain myself to my family?" to "my enemies are finally happy". But that's where God showed up. Right at the time it was all messed up and broken and seemingly unfixable. I talked to my spiritual mentor (my high school math teacher) and he prayed for my forgiveness and healing. I received my healing that day and that is where the real journey began. After we talked on the phone, I still had a huge amount of guilt and feelings of shame and didn't know much about how to keep my healing. As soon as i started getting "symptoms" what i now see as the lies of the enemy, I would begin to worry and fret and cry and just be in so much agony. Nowadays whenever I feel that, I quickly attack the enemy back and cast it away and stand on God's word regarding my healing. I ve been doing this for a few days and I'm already seeing a lot of improvements PRAISE GOD!! This didn't just happen by just listening to the counsel from my spiritual mentor, i had to constantly fill my spirit up with God's word. I did this and still do by listening to preachers who talk a lot about healing -Creflo Dollar, Joel Osteen, Sheryl Brady among others. Yea, there are days when i don't understand why this is all happening but there are somethings I try never to do. And that is 1. Blame God 2. Or ask him why me?? I know I'm healed and therefore need to look at what lies ahead and not what I did which I can never change- though that can sometimes be hard amidst a storm of "symptoms/lies". Now i truly understand what Christ's death and resurrection all meant. So people like myself who have been in the business of self-destruction can get a chance to follow him. The rest of my life i dedicated to him not long ago. It was a great day. I let it all go. I just can't steer the wheel anymore. Im inept. The remainder of this blog will be about my walk with Him. I don't know what the future holds but I know he will bring me to a great end as He's promised in Jeremiah 29:11. My fear level is definitely down as Im learning to trust him amidst this storm. Jesus has said everything will be fine as long as he is in the boat. :) Catch me everyday as I pour my heart out to all who care to read and follow. Thanks. -GLAHP (God's love and happiness peace)