Today I learned that life isn't about searching for happiness. Really? I always thought living a true authentic life meant looking for what made you happy and enjoying it. It sounded very depressing and somewhat bleak when I learned this today.
The reason why I find this quite true is that when I was younger I wanted to get into this school of my dreams. So day and night I worked at getting good grades and dreamed about someday being in this prestigious school. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately) I got into this school and after a few couple weeks I felt so sad and lonely. Even after getting exactly what I wanted I still felt unhappy.
Sadness is a part of life and the more you try to eliminate it( with material possessions, seeking external love, hedonism, achievements etc) the more frustrated you get and the less successful you are.
So the new me has decided to focus on the things of the now enjoy what I am and not what I'll be. Just be in a state of constant appreciation of where I am and just learn to trust in God for a better future. Since I know a state of 100% happiness isn't possible or even natural and that God made it this way so we seek the things of His kingdom and not only our own personal desires, I've learned to be more Namaste in my life.
Death has no power over me and life is a transient voyage which has an end. I am going to enjoy this no doubt....but my heart and soul will never be in anything earthly. It's hard for someone as passionate and driven as myself to think this way.
I want to be ambitious and yet peaceful with myself. That is one thing Ill be praying about all throughout this journey.
Peace be unto you.
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